For context, my background is in communicative sciences and disorders. I am board-certified and very intentional about direct communication – People! It is unfair to expect your bf/gf to read your mind! In general, life is more fulfilling when we share our voice!
Today is my bf's and I’s first Vday. I told him that even though we’re together, still ask me, it’s romantic! When he asked for examples, I shared saying “you’re berry sweet. Be mine,” when he gave me my smoothie would’ve led to some morning fun* and that sending flowers to my job would mean a lot.
Today, he sent a picture of a card asking me to be his Valentine. I want to say “**** NO”, you don’t get a valentine, but yes, a non-related date is fine. I appreciate that he planned something romantic – effort is there for next weekend, but what about today? I’m feeling lonely today, in a relationship, on Valentine’s Day. I know for a fact that we’re both free today. Also, Iykyk a lot goes into preparing: ordering a dress, nails, wax, lashes, tidying up, etc.
If I have to ask for the flowers he’s gotten me, idk as long as he listens. But today…. am I not being patient? I’m ok with teaching someone how I want to be loved, but in this situation….
In this moment, it feels like I was not worth the effort to him, and I want to say no, but I’m not sure if that means. I do not want to react out of emotions, so when he shared that he’s excited for next weekend, I said, “ I’m not in the space to fully reciprocate that today, but I do want you to know I appreciate you! I just need a moment.” Y'all… he replied that the event closes its doors five minutes after it starts and that we’ll have dinner after. (……?) I do want him to feel appreciated for planning next weekend, but do you think his not putting any effort into plans today is an issue?
He said he thought the weather would be bad this weekend, but it’s literally impossible to get last-minute reservations. I also shared with him previously that I don’t like big crowds, so we could do Legos or something for Vday. If he had a plan, wouldn’t we have just decided to reschedule together if it rained? I also don’t melt in the rain. I enjoy conflict resolution, and think we can turn this day around by me going to get Legos for us to build and then going to his house but… wouldn’t my 5’2 *** would be doing all the heavy lifting? I enjoy watering my own garden and believe that I am deserving of what love looks like to me. But at this moment, I need help with seeing if I have an attitude for no reason, or if my bf is not being accountable. I don’t have much to say to him right now.
Am I unreasonable for getting upset when people don’t do what I say after they asked me what I want & only 70% appreciate his efforts – or is this not a “you’re doing too much” situation, and I should leave the conflict resolution to him?