To sum it up, The person I’m seeing, Sam (21NB), keeps planning really short dates and I am planning on talking about them in person on our second date that I took over planning (Mind you, the ONLY thing they had to plan was when the date started and ended, since I cleared out both days for them).
We had a really great first date and we have really good chemistry and compatibility💕, However I noticed that we both wanted a longer time together yet they had to go home early since they needed to now drop off my gift at their place and then go to class.
But yknow I was like “Well it was our first date, we aren’t official, and plus now that we know 2 hours wasn’t enough we can do longer dates!”
We had some scheduling things come up so our second date actually was supposed to be on Valentine’s Day which had me excited since I hadn’t ever celebrated Valentine’s Day with a partner and I was about to call in some favors in order to make sure this was really nice.
I gave them some date layout options and just asked for preference and what time worked best with them (We had already decided that it’d be in the afternoon or even evening before this but I just needed a specific time for a reservation).
This mf said 11-1pm worked best.
And yknow I never thought I’d be second guessing if afternoon was like…After….noon, until now.
Also finding out that it was another short date after I’m making sure reservations and other things were set up, that they had plans with their roommates 15 minutes after our time (Which meant they’d leave early again in order to drive back).
I got passive aggressive fast with them and I eventually just walked it off to return later explaining lightly that I preferred more time and I didn’t think Saturday would work out due to the closeness of events (I was way too irritated but again I let it go cause they aren’t my partner).
After having a ex who was constantly not prioritizing me, never working with me on dates with me, and was just constantly complaining about me even relying on him- I never want to feel like I’m a last minute add on or a burden ever again.
We rescheduled to Sunday from 12-4 which made me much happier and more relaxed (I think Valentine’s Day was also a kryptonite for me).
But I really think we need to have solutions or more options especially since I know honestly that they’re juggling a lot (Social life, uni, and a job- It’s tough and I see that as well. Just dealing with my gig work, job, and social life is already tough enough).
But if we did become official:
– I would need at least 1 long date per month 💀I hate being anxious about other priorities timing (mainly only when it can be avoidable plus I don’t mind doing errands together or doing work together though I would like at minimum 1 genuine romantic date).
– working out alternatives to dates when scheduling won’t be possible (like cooking calls or something where we can still be together cause I know planning sometimes gets tough mangling things but emotional intimacy can’t be neglected).
What else should we talk about though?
Also the reason why I’m asking this now if because they mentioned wanting to decide whether to be official or not after 2 dates.