23F (me) and 28M in an uncertain position and i dont know if im being played with at this point.

We used to be just close friends (met a bit over a year ago in our uni) then started hooking up earlier in 2025. He confessed to me in august 2025 and he's a great guy – always treated me w respect, never let me pay for anything, good career, intelligent, feminist etc. but i was unsure at that time. anyways he moved back to his country late august because his mum was having a crisis. parents going through nasty separation & his dad stopped providing for the home. his dog also passed away in october which took a big toll on him. he had to restart his private practice (we are both lawyers) and became very busy. throughout this period we didnt talk much at all eventhough i reached out to him often but i confessed to him via a letter in november. we had an argument that month because i thought he just didnt care anymore. he said that he's genuinely going through it but hes really busy and burdened by the cases and his mum is very mentally ill & the divorce proceedings seem to be being dragged by his parents (hes assisting in it) and that if he didnt want anything with me he'd just say it. but it was a bit of a nasty argument bec he said some really rude things and so did i.

However he also cant commit bec of distance (planning on moving back where i live in 2027 though) and work+family burden/schedule. Told me he'd be visiting in june for a little bit and will see me. he said he'd respond to my letter (back in nov) but he still hasnt so i asked him about that & he started being like oh ill do it around valentines and how he couldnt do it before because .. well the justifications stay the same. after that he seemed to try to contact me more and call when he could (which was still less tbh). we last called at the end of jan. after that he told me he's going to be busy because of certain cases. i stopped texting him after that and its been two weeks & he hasnt reached out. however viewed my stories recently (he doesnt use social media much) so i guess he does have the time to do the bare minimum and reach out.

this is starting to drain me because i feel like im being played with at this point and i dont know what to do or say. do i just give this up and move on? im trying but it just kind of hurts. i was thinking of waiting till valentines to see what he does/if he reaches out. i just had hopes for this but im just hurt atp. i feel like if someone means anything to you, youd make time. im so torn because hes not lying about his circumstances but it doesnt justify being so distant and absent while simultaneously claiming to love me. and being unable to write a letter in 2 months. what do i even believe at this point?

Plus, he has depression & ADHD and i have BPD so we both are mentally a bit .. complicated i guess. I dont do well with silence/absence and the abandonment issues kick in. i hate being in a limbo and i need a certain answer which he has not given (he claimed hed do that in the letter) yet.