TLDR: is getting lingerie for myself and creating a sexy night for my bf a shellfish Valentine's day gift?
I am truly at a loss on what to get my bf for Valentine's day. he's a picky guy who buys whatever he wants when he wants it, which makes gift giving holidays and birthdays tough to plan for. Additionally, we just moved in together and are in the process of getting rid of stuff so bringing anything unnecessary in would cause more stress. As for events or things to do, I already bought him concert tickets for Christmas, and tickets to his favorite play for his birthday (both celebratory occasions have passed, but the shows are coming up) One of my friends suggested that I buy some lingerie and surprise him by wearing it and making a night out of it. I thought it was a pretty good idea, but when I told my other friend about it she said that buying lingerie for myself is not a gift for my boyfriend. she said that it would come off as selfish and uncaring of him. Would I be a jerk if my Valentine's day gift to my bf was lingerie for myself and a sexy night for him?
30 comments
Sure just wear it for him the first time.
More than acceptable, and your friend is wrong.
I’m not a big fan of gifting sex. Obviously it’s Valentines but you know him best
I used to do this alot and my bf at the time loved it.
no this is cute, my bf would love this too. If you did it alone without all these other plans lined up maybe it would be a bit inconsiderate? but you’ve gifted him wonderfully. Idk i like the idea
Some guys like it, others don’t since you’re getting yourself something really. Lowkey a pink flag if a guy wants to be gifted sex.
I think it’s lame alone, but can be paired well with like dinner/drinks or some like jar of nice notes or something.
Look at your question and that should give you your answer. You are buying lingerie for yourself and then a sexy night with him. That is not a gift for him. You are getting the gift, and a sexy night together should never be seen as a gift. Your intent is good, but the execution of gift-giving is poor.
You can be the one who takes him out for dinner. You can also take him out to dinner on another night if he already planned to take you out for Valentine’s Day. You can get him flowers and candy. You can get him his favorite premium coffee, tea, or alcoholic drink. You can give him a voucher for a game which is not out yet to buy it for him when it does come out. You host a little get together for him and a couple of his friends when there is an event which he wants to watch.
Your heart is in a great place and hope you can pick out a great gift for him.
I bought my boyfriend a cheesecake slice and a rose last year and he liked it. We like to keep things very low pressure around this holiday
Just read the title and i can tell you, absolutely !
Using sex as a “gift idea” is never a good idea If you want to maybe include that at the end of the night to “end it off special” then knock your self out but if that’s your only gift then I would consider something else. Also you doing that sounds like an easy way out it gives the same energy of I didn’t know what to get you so here’s my ass.
Uhhh
Lingerie for myself is always really for my partner.
I’ll be handing him photos of me in it through out the day 😈
I also got him a candle that says “light me when you want a blowjob”, a leather watch case and a silicone wedding band for when he goes back to work because he won’t be able to wear his ring for safety reasons.
Just a tie and Nothing else is enough!
He gets a card. Tah dah!
Valentine’s is for you. His day happens one month later on March 14th.
It really depends on the person and if you’re unsure if he’d like it there is no harm in asking. Personally, my bf loves stuff like that. We don’t do any traditional gift giving on days other than birthdays so anything we do get is just at random when we have money. I feel like for gift giving in general it’s good to talk about expectations and stuff. It’s also nice to not have to worry about doing gifts and just go out to eat or something if you both would agree on something like that.
No
You know your bf better than us, so you could probably answer that question better. Some people like this type of gift and some don’t. It varies widely.
As a guy: always appreciated. But make the night special.
You can make it a roleplay night with special ‘rules’. Or make a romantic evening with lots of candles, whatever is your dynamic.
i think it depends on your financial situation. i’d make/pay for a nice dinner, wear a pretty outfit and treat him all night with real presents like cologne or chocolates, and then you steal the show at the end of the night. it’s YOUR valentines too. don’t let people tell you that it’s selfish if he’s the one enjoying it
If the shoe were on the other foot, and he bought himself something for Valentine’s Day that would facilitate you enjoying something with him…but it’s still for him and if you broke up on the 15th he would keep it and could use it with the next girl, would that feel like a gift?
Would be nice I think, but do it as spontaneous act and don’t present it as a gift. Maybe bake something nice for him, or take him out for a date like dinner or a creative workshop?
It really depends on the guy
Im gonna buy myself a ps5 so we can watch your favorite movie…
You’re welcome
I’ve done it twice, he loved it! If you know it’s something he would be into, go for it girl!
I think it’s super cute. Guys giving girls lingerie is usually the funnier one since it’s a gift for themselves.
No. Because guys don’t really care about lingerie. It’s a kind of a waste of money for something that’s you’ll have on 5 minutes TOPS and never wear again
This sounds less like something *he* actually wants and more like you punting because you don’t have a better idea. Why not make him a coupon book of some kind? You could put a sexy night like this in it, along with massages, homecooked dinners, a trip to a store he likes where he can pick out anything he wants up to a certain dollar amount, a night where he picks what movie or TV show y’all watch, control of the music in the car, a couple of free passes from chores you know he doesn’t like, etc. This way he gets to use it throughout the year, but the whole book is all about him and what he likes and values.
My ex-gf did this and it was hot but honestly YOU need to make sure that he will like it and enjoys that type of stuff because you don’t want to embarrass yourself. Also is that the only gift? I mean you could also do a small gift along with it. Just you in lingerie and no other “gift” could come off as low effort to some men.
1. I think that spending time together like on a date is much more important than gifts on Valentine’s Day, so I think any gift at all (or no gift) is perfectly fine.
2. I am a guy, and I have told my wife that for any gift-giving occasion, if she can’t think of anything to get me, her wearing lingerie for a special night is absolutely a welcome alternative!
3. I don’t think buying lingerie can be characterized as buying something for yourself when your partner is the intended beneficiary. Conversely, if a man buys lingerie for his partner, I think that would be more like buying a gift for himself.
4. You know your relationship better than us! I think lots of guys are like me, and would love this, but it might not be for everyone. If buying something for Valentine’s Day takes up too much mental space, you can have a conversation about an expectation of making it about spending time together instead of material things. And then the lingerie would just be a very nice bonus at the end of the night!
I think it’s a lame idea, but I also think making a big deal out of Valentine’s Day is lame. It just makes it stressful. Sharing a nice meal, dessert, and a romantic evening is all that’s necessary imo. Maybe suggest a holiday not centered around gifts, but connection and intimacy instead?