I need someone to tell me if I have a rose colored view of relationships. Is this normal?
[31F] not sure if I need to leave relationships or these are normal thoughts from partner [36M]
Been together 2.5 years
I have 3 kids from a previous marriage when I was young. They are 9,8,5.
He’s really is pretty wonderful. he does things with the kids, helps me with the house, takes care of my car and makes me feel special in those ways.
We’re trying to save money for a house, so we just moved out of my apartment and into his house. His house is very small. One bedroom. The kids have the bedroom and we sleep in the living room. It’s seemed to work really well and we should be able to save way more money this way.
My partner is stressed a lot. For really our entire relationship. I’ve tried to get him to go to therapy because he says he feels stressed and down all the time but he went a couple times and quit. He says that’s just how he is and will always be. Most of the time it’s work related stress, but it’s often the kids too. They can be a lot. I’m their mom and they stress me out, so I know it’s bad for him.
He complains and is stressed a lot. It makes me feel bad because he rarely says anything good about our relationship. He will say things back if I say them, but not really unprompted. It’s left me feeling like a burden and I try as hard as possible to lessen stress and keep the kids calm.
I was upset the other night and told him I feel like a burden and I hate that. He said that it’s just a fact that a single mom with three kids will be a burden, but that he’s fine with that and he knew what he was signing up for. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but that there is a part of him that’s stays out of moral obligation because he knows my life wouldn’t be as easy without him. I told him I want someone to want to be with me just for me and he said that’s not real.
Healso said that even on his wedding day he won’t feel sure. I feel so sad and I don’t want to give up. I love him, and overall I’m really happy. There’s so many good things about our relationship. So in a way, I feel like this is a small problem?
But it’s also makes me feel so worthless sometimes.
And I want someone to want to get married to me. I just honestly dont know what to do.