Coworker turned best friend admitted that she’s completely stuck in a toxic relationship where she doesn’t love him anymore. We admitted we have very strong feelings for each other and that she wants to leave him to be with me. However guy has control over her car, insurance, apartment, and phone, and she doesn’t have a great relationship with her parents.
She doesn’t really any figure to talk to. She has a good relationship with his mother who’s funding their life for them, but she defends all of his toxic habits.
I’m very open to being with and helping her, and the few friends he lets her have also want her to break up with him and us to be together. However, it will take a very long time for her to get out, and we aren’t confident the feelings will last.
I want to remain open for her, but we don’t know when or if she will ever leave. She says she doesn’t want to drag me a long but I’m already so hooked. Common sense tells me this is terrible and not to get anymore involved, but I don’t want to ghost her in a time of need. I’m still open to being just friends but we’ve already admitted so many feelings for each other that it’s hard to say if that’ll work.
Essentially I don’t want to stress myself out being committed to a relationship that isn’t real, but I don’t want to hurt her by not being there for her when she needs someone. I unfortunately just don’t see a way to balance it without falling in the former. We plan on discussing in person what options she has and how we want to move forward, but I’m just not sure how to best fit into those plans, or if I should at all.
All I know is we’re so happy with each other, and so crushed that we can’t be together. It’s the weirdest feeling ever. Reading similar posts everyone always says "it’s not real, let go" but if that’s really the case how do I go about that without leaving us both worse off.