I (M27) and my partner (F27) have been having a similar conversation with a similar results for about over a year now.
I am a very passionate person, and by passionate I mean I find this childlike interest in almost everything I do. I always have some "spark in my eyes." I always share this spark with my partner. For example, let's take something silly like a video game, Elden Ring. I always want to show her a new armour set, or a boss fight or something stupid like a spell. I could take this further like I want her to see how cool my robotics code is, or how my theoretical physics research was going. I always have something to show her.
She, on the other hand, does not share her passions with me. This has caused some hurt within me because I feel when one is passionate about something, you share it with the one you love. I am always asking her about her art, or about what she does in class, and it used to be minimal showing (we have been together for about 8 years). Only recently, like last semester, has she really started to try, but it's still minimal. Last night I went to her first ever art show, and what do you know some pieces were up that I have never seen before, nor did I know the title of her piece. I mentioned it only briefly after the show but it always turns into how "forgetful" I am. Which, I am not. I love her art, and have mental images of each piece. This piece really stuck out because it was so beautiful but then a strange face was in the middle of it (lmao it was really funny too I loved it).
I know what it feels like to feel special to someone, and to her I do not. She says "I'll try" every time, and then tries for a bit but it falls away. And I ask, still, nonetheless. But, I am becoming exhausted. I have been looking for therapy all day to talk about this but I thought this may be cathartic as well. I just wish she would show me her passions.
As of late, as well, she has been a bit more passive when I show her things. It feels like I am losing her interest, and she also does not want to show me her interests either. I think I started realizing this more when
- My friend asked me a ton of questions about one of my passions and I was really excited about it.
- I watched this son teach his dad about a video game he liked and he really gave him that attention.
To top the night off I went onto IG (which I am not really active on there or here) only to see her post another piece of art I have never seen. I mean, we have lived together and have been dating for around 8 years. I feel I am missing out, or rather she is keeping me out.
I also start to think I overshare or I talk too much so then at times I just go silent and she does not like that either. I don't know. I am really lost.
Am I oversharing, or when I expect the same is that bad?
TL;DR:
I feel I overshare my passions with my partner because she does not reciprocate her passions. However, this is how I feel special to someone which has been communicated.