Hi. I’ve known my bf for 2 years and have been together over a year and half.
I started grad school out of state (driving distance) and I’ll be here another 2 years. He comes and visits every two weeks. We love being around each other and we have gotten really good at talking about issues/communicating.
We are talking about the future and he plans to move to my state to be with me next year (2 years together by that point). Here’s the thing, I’m afraid.
- School is suuuper stressful and I am having a hard time. I am always overwhelmed. I like having my own space and enjoy doing things my way. We talked about this, and I need to learn to adapt. I’ve never enjoyed having roommates. But I love him, so it’s diff ofc.
- I prefer to rent an apartment next year, but he wants to invest in a property (condo/townhome). I’m worried that’s a huge commitment.
- He grew up in a household where his mom did everything for him. He has come a long way in terms of picking up some home duties, but I fear I’ll be in charge of cooking/cleaning when honestly, rn, I barely have the mental capacity to do it for myself.
So here are my questions: since this is a huge step (for me, I’ve never lived with anyone), do you think I should feel 100% certain that this is my future husband before doing so? Also, how do I navigate the convo about wanting to rent an apartment instead (I’m worried if something goes sideways I’ll have to scramble to find a place in the middle of a semester)? How do I go about the “chores” convo?
He is always receptive of my thoughts and feedback as I am to him. We have a very respectful relationship.
I’m afraid, honestly. This is my first long term relationship. Thank you 🙂 all insight welcome 🙂
TLDR: I’m a grad student and he wants to move here to be with me. I’m wondering: how sure should I be about my partner before moving in? How do I navigate the location/chores talk? Thanks!