Hi! So recently my boyfriend and I have experienced some rough patches in our relationship, way more than usual. We've been together for a year and never really argued. We definitely aren't a "we never argue because we always agree" type of couple. We did have our diffrences and addressed them, but for about 2 or 3 months the arguments got more intense and they happen more often.
A few days ago I've had a session with my therapist. She noticed something was bothering me so she suggested we adress the issue. At first I didn't really want to talk about it because me and my boyfriend are mostly fine. Only these few months have been tough. Eventually, she convinced me to do a pros and cons list.
We started with the pros and after reading them, she told me that these are just surface level, that even an outsider or a total stranger could notice these and that there's nothing in that list that seems to say "these qualities/actions are reserved for my girlfriend" and something along the lines of me not having any "girlfriend rights" in this relationship.
The pros were that he's smart, handsome, altruistic, patient, helps me around the house, drives me whenever he can, buys me gifts and does acts of service. (She said the last two do not count since they are love languages but she will add them because they are pluses).
Lastly, she told me that I sound like an 80yo mother who's bragging about her 40 something yo son who's helping her at her old age. She even added that girls that are in love and in healthy happy relationships always add things like "I like the way he touches me", "he's always so gentle" etc.
I've never had a model of a healthy and happy relationship in my life from friends or family. And my experience with relationships until now were not so pleasant. So I wanted to ask y'all what are some pros about your S/O that do make you feel like a partner? Things that are basically "reserved to you as a partner" and special to you two?