This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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What does sex mean to you in relationships? Is it a form of connection, release, both? Neither?
How important is sexual chemistry when starting to date someone new? For the first time, do you enjoy the anticipation (over multiple dates possibly) more than the act itself?
Okay so yesterday I went on a first date I had been nervous/excited about for days. I hadn’t heard from him since Sunday morning so right before the date asked him “This is still happening right 👀” slightly annoyed that he hadn’t idk, given any confirmation or said he was looking forward to it or anything. He responded “Sorry yeah! 7″… inside I was like *”SORRY YEAH 7″*??? That’s the energy? Honestly did not like. Since we’d been bantering and he seemed well spoken last week. I assumed he just wasn’t into it anymore.
But then I actually got to the date and was like ooohhh no he’s cute. And he was so easy to talk to. We sat at the bar for almost 4 hours and were kind of in a flow. He’s unlike other men I’ve dated, very analytical but in an endearing way. He seemed genuinely interested in me as a person, asked lots of questions and listened. He said I seem authentic and I feel like he must have liked me, since we talked for so long? Wasn’t really flirty but was attentive. I would consider it a good date, at least the best *I’ve* had in 5 years since I met my last boyfriend (only 2 other dates in that time).
I let him know that the lack of communication made me kind of nervous. Only other red flag was he kept calling women females, and when I called that out he seemed kind of confused then switched to “girls”. Normally I’m not even bothered by that, but in this context of the conversation it didn’t even make sense to not just say women. Like be normal, he’s 37 and no one has told him this before? 🫣 Although this was a good test of how he responded to being, I guess, corrected. And he wasn’t defensive at all.
He’s divorced and his lock screen is a picture of the dog he and his ex had… been 1.5 years and he just started dating again. Not sure what to think about all that.
Then at the end of the date he said this was cute, asked if I’d want to do it again sometime, we awkwardly hugged, he said he’d get my number later on Tinder and I was like you can just get it now. So now I’ll see if he texts me today. Because from my perspective, if he doesn’t that’ll be pretty telling after I let him know that I value better communication.
Sorry this is so long, it’s been kind of overwhelming getting back into dating after a while.
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Rave warning.
I’ve been dating someone for the past few weeks, our communication styles and expectations match on word 100%. He seems absolutely wonderful and makes me feel positively safe, and most important, I have never laughed so much in my life with someone.
We are both older and I’m not opposed to moving quickly, because at this stage in life my viewpoint is, I want to find out asap if we aren’t compatible. Anyway, we just had the most amazing weekend trip together and decided to make it official. And this morning I get hit with the weirdest sense of fear, I was actually terrified for a moment of how good everything seems and how it could end any moment. This had never happened to me before. How do you handle this?
So I totally get that a lot of people are going to disagree with this take, but here’s my recent situation.
I work as a bartender and a regular of mine wants to set me up with someone. She gave her my number and told me she was going to reach out. Then she told me that she has a couple dates she wants to go on first, and see how they pan out before she reaches out to me.
Something about that just doesn’t sit right for me. I don’t think she’s doing anything wrong by any means, but I guess I just don’t like the idea of being put into a situation where I’m being actively compared to several other people. I’ve never been set up, I almost always meet people organically. I also tend to really only focus on one person at a time.
I’ve been so hard on myself. I have such an amazing life and yet I think my life sucks bc I am 29m and still single and have been single my entire life but I am so tired of being so bitter and being so negative and yes it does suck being single but I think I need to enjoy my life and just be happy. I do see other people my age and older in relationships and yes I feel jealous I won’t lie but I think its best for me to ignore them and let them be happy. People say life is competition and I agree with them but its a rule that is harder to follow than said.
I need to be happy and if its meant to be, then it will happen.
Do you know what I love most about online dating? Matching with someone, having a nice chit chat getting to know each other for a day or two then hearing absolutely nothing from them ever again.
In all seriousness though, why are so many people like this? Why bother messaging or even matching in the first place?
Maybe just my anxiety kicking in, but if you go on a 2nd date with someone and it’s fun, when would you expect the 3rd date to be planned?
I asked him out on the 2nd date, then we went off apps and he’s been texting me, but it’s been a few days and he hasn’t asked me out. I don’t want to ask out twice in a row – wary of folks who just go along when the other person makes the effort.
Maybe I’m just not used to slow burn?
My friend’s brother had a stroke at 37. A once vibrant man can’t walk or talk anymore, and was in a coma for 17 days over the holidays. He can’t work and may never be the same.
Just in case anyone needs a reminder that our time is short, so stop sweating the small stuff. Nobody gets out alive anyways.
OK I’m still seeing the guy from work. He’s going to plan a date for Friday or Saturday. I still like spending time with him, feel safe, he’s funny.
I REALLY leaned out this week (not initiating texting or plans at all and left it to him to drive the communication) which was hard-going, but we do have a date planned, and it’s on him again this time. Â
Luckily I am in weekly therapy, talking to my friends about what I’m up to, and seeing someone else for a second date next Weds (who planned a very good first date and was charming about both my ideas for Weds). I think I can guess who you guys will be rooting for…
A few weeks ago I made the mistake of talking to my mother about dating. I told her that yes, I’ve used the apps, I’m very sociable and meet people around town, and I’ve been set up by friends. Nothing to show for any of it except burnout. She basically told me I wasn’t trying hard enough. Lady, have you considered the fact that maybe your daughter is just too weird?