Hey guys! I am a 25F and i’m very new to dating and sex. My past is VERY limited. I started having real feelings for my coworker (at the bar we work at) a few weeks ago. He’s a 35M. A regular at the bar we work at has been trying to set us up as we both secretly talk to this regular about being interested in each other. Over the last week we’ve gone out for drinks a bunch of times. Most of the times going out for drinks were our mutual regular friend trying to set us up cause we’ve both been too stubborn to ask each other out. I finally messaged him that if he ever wanted to hang out just the two of us, without our friend having to step in, that i’d be down. He told me he’d think about it. On Saturday he asked me out himself and after drinks we had sex at his place. I had asked him why he hesitated and he told me it was cause we work together. We both mutually agreed to keep it private. The night together was wonderful. But the next morning I asked him what made him decide to ask me out and I asked him if it was horniness and he said yes. I said “typical man” and then he laughed and said “isn’t that the reason you’re doing this too”. Now I’m confused. I wanted to say I was with him because I like him. And I thought he did too. We’ve had hours upon hours of deep conversation this week. I thought there was more here.
So I guess now i’m very confused. Is this how dating usually starts out? With casual sex? Is this normal? Do I keep riding the wave and hope it goes somewhere? I’m honestly scared I’m gonna get more attached and obviously can’t tell him that and scare him away. Sex doesn’t exactly make me attached but all the hours of cuddling and constant eye contact while having sex and making out made me a bit attached and I just dont know what to do from here.
I also want to add that I (probably naively) assumed he wasn’t one to only be interested in casual sex cause he was with and married to only 1 woman for 11 years and is a couple years removed from that now. From my knowledge he said he’s dated one woman since his ex wife but I never really thought about how there could have been recent hook ups he doesn’t talk about.