F28, spent a month in a new city and will be relocating here soon. I’m at a stage where I’m genuinely ready for something serious emotionally, mentally, financially. Not desperate, just intentional.
I downloaded a dating app and met four men in one month. Every single one said they were looking for something long-term (some even mentioned marriage).
In reality, their actions didn’t match:
– One pursued me properly even got me flowers took me to a nice dinner place, then I texted saying it was lovely to meet you, and he said same. And then I said see you soon, he just ghosted me after that.
– One said he wanted long-term, then changed to “not sure yet” after 2 meets and he slowly faded and stopped texting or calling me
– One downgraded from long-term to “let’s see where it goes, let’s keep meeting” but idk something feels off here, looks like he’s also exploring his options
– One spoke about I’m ready to settle down it’s about time , then ghosted the next day after good dinner date and he even dropped me home and called me that night to say good night after reaching home.
The dates themselves were good, no obvious red flags, no drama.
One thing I’ve been reflecting on: despite being very clear about wanting something serious, I wonder if I unintentionally give off a more “casual” energy I feel bad and sad like what am I doing wrong? I’m just trying my best to find one person and I have to go through all of this which is a task and mentally draining.
Most of these men focused heavily on my looks, not my personality or values, which is confusing because I’m independent, articulate, and doing well professionally. I know I bring more than just physical attraction
So I’m genuinely confused, why do so many people say they want long-term, but behave the opposite? Is this just modern dating, or am I missing something obvious? All these men I met are above (M28-31)