So me and my bf have been dating for 1.5 years and while we both love each other, my family does not approve. Many people will say family doesn’t matter, for our religion though it does and we want our families to be happy as well. My parents have used castist and derogatory terms for my bf and his family (when talking with me and my bf was on call and heard at that time). They have not said anything to my bf to his face but it would still hurt. I have opposed and caused many arguments with my parents regarding this and supported my bf. It was going alright however, past few months have been rocky as he found out something from my past (everything before him) and he has been very hurt since. He says he’s accepted me and sacrificed for me, and he would still be called these names by my parents. He gave me an ultimatum that I have to tell my parents I had a past (my parents are strict and forbade me against it before) and that I am “not as pure” as they think and that they should think twice before calling my bf names. Im unsure what to do cuz I know if/ when I tell my parents my past it’s a high chance they will disown me and hate me for life. I can’t lose my bf either because I love him a lot.
Do I tell parents or leave bf? Both are difficult, I can’t leave him because I love him a lot but he says I caused him a lot pain by lieing/hiding my past from him, and even after that, my parents call him names.
EDIT: he is caring and very lovely, but the main reason past few months have been rocky with him is because of the mistrust he feels about me, and says he still cares about me deeply, but it isn’t fair that my parents refer to themselves as “highly” when I did acts that no one in our community would really approve of, and then refer to him as “lowly”. I have said that I will work around my parents and make them see sense in a short while and to have patience, as things will work out later.