TL;DR I'm leaving an unhealthy marriage and need to know there are happy marriages out there. If you're in a happy, healthy marriage, please share with me. Please.
I've separated from my husband after being miserable for several years. I'm starting to realize that I was experiencing emotional abuse.
He would shut down over the smallest things and not talk to me for days. I never knew what was going to set him off, and it always turned into a large-scale character accusation. One time I forgot to tell him goodbye before leaving the house with some friends, and when I got home, he had moved into the guest bedroom because it was "obvious I only wanted a roommate, not a husband". Before a historic freeze, I asked him to unhook the hoses from the outdoor faucets, and he instead told me I was controlling and thought it was "my" house instead of "ours". Most recently, I told him I felt like he had mainly been complimenting my body and I would like to hear more compliments on who I am as a person, and his response was "Fine. I won't ever tell you you're sexy ever again." And stuck to it.
Things like this happened throughout our whole marriage. I didn't talk about it for years because I was taught to never speak poorly about my husband. When I finally broke down and told some friends, they were shocked and told me this isn't normal. I believe them, but I'm struggling to believe there are truly happy marriages out there. I grew up hearing "marriage is hard", and I found out it really, really is. I'm scared my options are be alone the rest of my life, or be in an unhealthy marriage.
If you're in a happy, healthy marriage, please tell me. Please tell me there is more than this to hope for.