I am a 33F seeing someone 45M, we started our relationship as an affair and he ended up leaving his marriage (15 years)for me. We are seeing each other approximately 6 months, he moved out of his house to his mother's two months ago.
He is the most loving amazing person I have ever met and everything is perfect except for the fact that he seems uncertain about separating from his wife, he continues to pay for everything for her and doesn't seem to be making any moves towards getting a separation, he's avoiding getting officially separated and last week we had a massive argument because she's emotionally and finally dependant on him and so when she text him to say she was struggling he went and bought a load of food to batch cook her dinners and went to spend the evening with her, I was upset because he didn't even consider me or talk to me about any of it he just decided that he was doing it because "he didn't want her to collapse" and all these other excuses that weren't warranted.
She seems to be coping with everything as well as can be and I feel he totally over reacts when she's anyway emotional and he runs to her, although this has only happened twice so far the way he justified how he behaves and how she seems to need him, makes me think he's going to keep doing it going forward, when I told him about feeling upset about the dynamic they have and the impact it's having he told me "I'm still her husband I have an obligation and a duty" and that made me very angry to the point I sent him a text message telling him to go be her husband then and was quite nasty because I was feeling so hurt.
He has continually told me he no longer has feelings for her and that he's in love with her and he only has care for her, similar to a family member, I do believe him but the way he reacts to her makes me doubt things at times.
This is the only part of the relationship that seems to be causing big issues and everything else is fine. I guess I'm looking for others that maybe have been in similar and might have found a way through/past it. He finally arranged therepy after weeks of me mentioning it to him and hopefully that will help
Any advice or guidance would be really appreciated, thank you 🙏