About me
I’m a 20y male from India. I’m generally calm, mature, and fun once people get to know me. I socialize moderately. I always believed relationships should happen naturally, in their own flow, and that I had time for them. So i always focused on improving myself with gym, skills and all.
But seeing how many of my peers are into temporary or casual relationships honestly feels a bit scary. I’m someone who wants a genuine, serious relationship, but I’ve never been in one. So even simple things like holding hands or hugs would feel new and special to me.
At the same time, when I see others constantly hooking up while I’m still at this stage, I don’t feel completely okay about it. That’s just being honest.
My expectations and opinion
I’m hoping for a relationship where both people grow and experience things together, with loyalty and long-term intent. I don’t focus only on looks or only on personality, I value both.
For me, looks represent self-care, hygiene, fashion, and effort. Personality represents mindset, intentions, values, and character. Both matter and that goes for myself too which i maintain.
My college life
I’m currently in my 3rd year of college. I don’t really have big mixed friend groups. I have a few close male best friends and some good friends both boys and girls whom I talk to occasionally.
I’ve noticed that many girls are already in relationships, and some even keep changing partners. It often feels like most people are either taken or into something casual.
Dating app experience
Out of curiosity, I created a dating app profile about a year ago without much thought. Recently, I started paying attention and realized that there are girls who are genuinely looking for meaningful, serious, long-term relationships.
That made me realize I was wrong to generalize or blame everyone. Still, finding something genuine on both sides feels quite tough these days.
My profile
I started focusing more on improving my profile. I have decent photos -not amazing, mostly because people who take my pictures aren’t great at it, and I’m not very photogenic. I’d rate myself around a 7/10 in looks, with a lean, muscular body, so I don’t think looks are of any issue.
I’ve included solo pictures, some cooking, gym, and hobby-related photos. My current prompts are:
- This year I really want to: Get a pet, learn the guitar, and build my AI project.
- Together we could: Make random late-night plans.
- What if I told you that: I can cook anything as long as it’s on YouTube.
I was consistent on the app for about 14 days. I barely got any matches (only one, with no conversation), so I’m considering doing a fresh start. Before that, I want to know if my prompts and photos are actually okay or if they need improvement. I’m open to suggestions and guidance.
My feelings
This whole dating thing feels confusing and complicated. It honestly feels like men are giving job interviews while women are choosing products. The algorithm, premium features, and competition make it feel like a big game especially as a man.
I also don’t really know how to write good openers, which is why I’m trying to improve now. I don’t want to jump into dating later as a complete newbie and end up in a bad relationship. I’d rather learn, understand, and do things right.
I want to love and be loved with cuddles, conversations, hanging out, building something real. Maybe I’m a bit delusional, but there’s still some hope left in me.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I’d really appreciate any advice, suggestions, or honest feedback.