How does one develop the confidence to do anything as a completely inexperienced person (virgin till I met him) seeing someone who's fucked a lot of people.
Im always too embarrassed to initiate anything because im terrible at everything. I really wanna get better at sucking his dick for example, unfortunately he's very well endowed and I cant fit it all in my mouth without choking on it. Everytime ive tried, its been toothy, inconsistent and I choke when he comes in my mouth.
He never asks me to give him head. I want to. but I cannot, in good consciousness, ask him to subject himself to letting me gnaw on his shit. So on and so forth. I wanna play with his nipples, dont know if he likes it or even If he would Id probably be doing it wrong.
The final nail in the coffin is that our sexual dynamics are mismatched. I wanna fuck his ass. he wants to fuck my ass. I dont wanna hurt him and I dont know what im doing so Im too embarrassed to even bring it up seriously and just joke about it.
How do I get over this. Sex is just him masturbating using my body, which is kinda hot not gonna lie, but damn I wanna FUCK him. My only idea of what sex is supposed to look like is from porn though, and I know I can't rely on my reference material for anything.
Additional issue, his ex was much better looking than me, a better match for his sexual tastes, and was very good at pleasing him. Which is a whole 'nother mental battle.