Hey everyone, I need some neutral advice. I’m 20, she’s 21, and I’ve never really been in a relationship—just a few talking phases. So I don’t have much experience, and some of those situations left me mentally hurt and needing time to heal. I still carry a few insecurities and fears that I’m trying to work through.
I met an amazing woman on Christmas Eve while bar hopping. I approached her with probably the cringiest line ever—I told her her colleagues looked like the “hippie gang from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” and that I wasn’t sure which movie would suit someone as stunning as her. I added that if I figured it out, she could message me.
The next morning, she actually did. I told her her vibe reminded me of Caroline from that film and suggested we grab coffee. Somehow, that worked. We didn’t text much before our first date—just coordinated time and place. After coffee, we went to a museum and had a great time.
Our second date included our first kiss, and by the third date we had a lot of fun together—we talked, teased each other, flirted a bit, and shared a few personal experiences. I asked her to see Avatar a few days later, but she said she had a stressful week. I suggested some times I could do, but then heard nothing for three days. She had warned me she’s a bad texter, even leaving her best friend on read for days, but I still found it frustrating because we had kind of talked about plans.
Eventually, she replied, said this week won’t work, but next Thursday is fine, and apologized for the late reply due to work stress. I kept my response short because I was a bit annoyed and also reminded of past experiences with someone who breadcrumbed me.
Now I’m stuck. I really like her, but I’m unsure if she’s still as interested. At the same time, I want to text her because something reminded me of her and I’d like to share it, but I don’t want to seem clingy or needy, or waste energy on someone who might repeat what I’ve been through before. My mind is all over the place, and I don’t feel like I’m thinking clearly.
So, should I reach out by text, call, or just wait? Or am I overthinking this?