I (27F) met a guy (26M), I approached first. He was warm in person, said he found me cute/attractive. Later said he broke-up a month ago and he’s not over his ex and feels he wronger her and wants us to stay friends. I accepted that.
However after saying this, he continued daily texting, double texting, apologizing for reply gaps, talking for hours, flirting lightly, showing care (food, check-ins), and saying he likes talking to me and doesn’t want to stop.
When I asked for clarity, he said:
• He’s emotionally unavailable
• He doesn’t want to hurt me
• His ex isn’t coming back forever and he won’t spend his life stuck on her
• But he’s not offering me anything and wants to stay friends
• He would go back to his ex if given a chance
• I should not hold any hope for the future
• His behavior is a “general thing” he does with people
We had a 5-hour call; he still didn’t choose me or ask for time.
I pulled back emotionally and kept replies short and late. He still reaches out everyday.
Male friend says men who want someone pursue regardless which this guy never did.
Questions:
• Was this emotional breadcrumbing / using attention without commitment?
• Did I do the right thing by pulling back instead of staying “friends”?
• Do men ever genuinely choose later after clearly rejecting someone?