I'm 25F, my bf is 28M, we've been together for 4 years and living together for 3.5 years.
We love eachother deeply, but we have such different mindsets and lifestyles it makes me scared of the future. For the first 2 years of our relationship we had very similar lifestyles (I didn't work much, I played lots of video games) but I chose to start going to school and work full time a year ago and it's starting to make me feel differently about our relationship.
He works a few odd days a month and just plays video games everyday, because he is also on disability for a mental disability and doesn't really "need" to do anything else. So whenever I try to offer suggestions of healthier habits it's so hard for him to stick to them because there's no real reason to. I should just love and accept who he is (I have been) but part of me knows its not healthy for a 28 year old man to be sitting down gaming 15 hours a day everyday.
He will always get off games if I ask him to, and he drives me anywhere I ask, and he is so incredibly good with communication.
But part of me feels resentment because I am always working my ass off while he is relaxing everyday.
I knew this would probably happen when I first starting dating him, but now we are so connected after 4 years it feels uncomfortable to even think this way because I love him so much. He says his biggest purpose in life is so have kids and be a great father, but how can I feel secure knowing he will be a good father by his current actions of gaming all day? I know he struggles with a lot mentally with depression and bpd as well so it feels like it's something he needs to deeply work on himself or with a therapist ( he doesn't want a therapist).
He says hes just enjoying his relaxing time before he has to really lock in and be a father. Am I delusional for feeling like this is so imbalanced when I am the one who put myself in this position? I feel so confused and I hate that I even feel this way, I want to live life with him but unfortunately I think with my views changing, I want him to become someone he is not. You can't force people to change. I just want hIM but a little ✨️healthier
I'm posting here because I have no one else I can talk to about this..