My ex and I met on Bumble over summer and broke up in November because of her depression and overwhelm (more context on my profile, we’re both women in our mid/late 20s doing postgrad degrees and also both happen to be very fearful avoidant when it comes to relationships 🙈).
I reached out a couple of days after the breakup offering support if she wanted it, and she was very kind but said she couldn’t accept it. I accepted that, and didn’t text again for a good while. During that time she watched all of my stories like it was a part time job, even if she was travelling (went back home to Australia for the holidays) or with family/friends.
I texted her a couple of days ago asking if we could go for coffee or just generally talk before we go back to our postgrads. It turned out that she’s extended her trip so she’s still in Australia, but she was happy to have a conversation and offered to FaceTime. I didn’t feel like it was fair to do that because I didn’t want to take away from her family time, so we agreed to talk when she’s back in the country we’re both studying in in a couple of weeks.
The purpose of this (for me) is to own my side of things and to see if we can move forward together with the added context of neither of us having been ready for the intensity we had.
I don’t know if I’ve done this right? And I don’t know how to read if she’s seeing this as closure or not, she was kind and said she hoped I’d had a nice Christmas but no questions or anything (in fairness, I also didn’t ask any questions beyond asking to have a quick chat and she hates texting at the best of times).
Any suggestions/help would be so appreciated!