My marriage would have been 6 years this month. I left in year 3 after I’d found out about my husband’s long term cheating with an ex (literally for the whole duration of our marriage) and several online posts and chats advertising himself as single looking to engage in various sexual activities.
We had our good days in the marriage, shared great moments, he even cried on our wedding day and I was so sure that I had his heart but when I found out by chance that he was cheating(I wasn’t even looking, it broke me, I literally felt my heart break).
Initially he gaslighted me saying that the messages I read were from years ago but there were time stamps. He made me feel stupid at that time but I forgave him and stayed.
I was so angry, triggered most of the time and I’d lash out from time to time.
I’m a Christian and I believe in forgiveness but forgetting was so hard.
After agreeing to stay to work on the marriage, a few months later, while I wasn’t looking again, I stumbled on his phone(he’d been typing something and had slept off) and what he’d been typing was a post on some Reddit page advertising himself again.
This time I didn’t confront him, I decided it was time to look inward, focus on my growth and career and I did just that. I landed a great job 3 months later.
I shared the joy with him and still stayed but honestly I was so over it. Getting that job made me feel powerful I won’t lie.
But then one day, while arranging the dresser I came across some 50 shades kinky toys that I know we’d never use and this time I was so mad. I confronted him and he started to apologize. Due to the fact that I now felt empowered by my new financial status, I packed up and left. Took just my clothes and left.
We divorced 1 year later amicably.
On some days I feel I over reacted, that I could have fought some more, on other days I’m feel proud of walking away. I love being married, I enjoyed being a wife and when I think that I could be 6 years married probably with some little kiddos of my own, I feel the ache.
I just felt like sharing this. Maybe get some other perspectives.