Hi everyone, this is my first post ever on reddit and it's going to be a bit long. Me and my boyfriend known each other for about a year as friends, but we only started getting romantically close around August 2025, and officially began dating a few months after that.
At the beginning of our relationship, things felt warm and reassuring. We talked a lot, he checked in on me, and I felt emotionally supported in ways I hadn’t before. I felt safe, seen, and calm being with him.
Lately, though, something feels……. off. Our communication has become noticeably less frequent. He can spend hours gaming or being online, but replying to my messages often feels slow, short, or dry. Sometimes he disappears for most of the day, and when I try to start conversations, I feel like I’m carrying them alone.
I keep telling myself that he’s just tired, that everyone needs space, and that I don’t want to be controlling or clingy. But my body reacts before my mind can catch up. I wake up anxious, my heart racing, with this constant sense of unease I can’t really explain.
For context, he has a disorganized attachment style. I know this can mean craving closeness but also pulling away when things feel emotionally intense. I’ve been trying to be patient and understanding, reminding myself that his distance might not mean he doesn’t care, but sometimes it’s still really hard not to take it personally.
In the first two months of our relationship, he used to say “I love you” and “I miss you” very often, almost every day. It was very consistent and affectionate, which is why the change feels more noticeable and confusing to me now.
There’s also something he said to me in December that keeps replaying in my head. He told me: “I know you love me and I’m thankful for that, so you don’t have to say it so many times. I know you will always be there for me, and I appreciate it. You just don’t have to say it every time.” I understood what he meant, that he already felt secure in my feelings. So I tried to respect that and not overwhelm him.
But now, when I do say “I love you” or “I miss you,” he doesn’t say it back anymore. He just reacts with cute couple stickers.
What makes this harder is that, despite all of this, he is still incredibly thoughtful in many ways. He remembers small details about me that I only mentioned once in passing, things even I have forgotten. He notices my habits, my likes, my little quirks. He is genuinely kind, caring, and attentive in subtle ways.
This is also his first romantic relationship, and I truly want to be a good partner for him. I don’t want to rush him or demand things he isn’t ready for. In fact, being with him has made me want to improve my life (emotionally, mentally, and practically) because I can genuinely imagine a future with him, even marriage someday. That’s why this confusion hurts so much.
I keep wondering if I’m being too sensitive, or if this is what people mean when they talk about the “three-month phase” where reality starts to show. I don’t want to accuse him of anything. I never think of him as a bad person. I just feel confused and anxious. I’m torn between asking for reassurance and staying quiet because I’m afraid of being seen as needy or exhausting. I don’t want to push him away by wanting closeness.
So I guess my real question is this:
Lately, when I say “I love you” or “I miss you,” he never says it back anymore, he only sends cute couple stickers. Does he still love me?
1 comment
Love isn’t measured by stickers or memory alone it’s shown in consistency and effort. If his actions are creating anxiety instead of safety, that’s something to address, not suppress. Ask for clarity calmly wanting reassurance isn’t neediness, it’s a basic relationship need.