TL;DR My boyfriend does everything right but his love feels very flat and I don’t know if I’m the problem because I’m comparing his love for me to my love for him, which is very deep.
Hi all. I’m 23F and have been with my boyfriend (21M) for about six months. He is genuinely a great partner, he’s calm, caring, kind, loyal, understanding, patient and consistent. From an outside perspective, he does everything right.
I love him so much, but the issue I’m struggling with is that, despite his actions and reassurance, I don’t feel loved or emotionally reciprocated. It often feels like there is a lack of emotional depth behind what he says or does, even though I can see that he is trying and means well. This makes me wonder whether this is something internal on my side, such as differing emotional needs or attachment styles, or whether there is an actual compatibility issue that I am not clearly identifying.
These feelings have started to affect my behavior. I have noticed myself becoming distant or irritable because I sense that something is off, but I cannot pinpoint exactly what it is. When he reassures me, it logically makes sense, but emotionally it still feels flat to me.
I have not brought this up directly yet because I do not want him to feel unappreciated or like he is doing something wrong when he is clearly making an effort. I am looking for advice on whether this sounds like a communication issue, an internal expectation mismatch, or something else I should reflect on before addressing it with him.
Any advice or outside perspective would be appreciated. I just want to stop overthinking all of this.