I have been with my boyfriend for 3+ years (23F/25M). I want to preface this by saying that he is smart, and in many ways smarter than me. I have always been a very academic person (to the point of obsession)… literature, musicology, linguistics, history, art. His interests/competences are quite different: he is skilled at technical tasks, tinkering, problem-solving, working with computers and machines. We can both chat about psychology, society, crime, and (very light) philosophy easily, so it isn't as if things are completely intellectually dry. That said, I am starting to feel sad at the thought that I can't bond over books and words with my life partner. These things are so important to me. He doesn't read at all and has a relatively limited vocabulary (though probably average or above average in general). He mumbles and can be ineloquent (obviously I have those moments as well). He listens when I talk to him about these areas of interest, but doesn't engage deeply. I have friends to talk about these things with, of course, but spending every day with him (we recently moved in together) and noticing more sharply this absence in our relationship has been upsetting.
Is this a deal-breaker? I can't even imagine how I would bring it up. I don't want him to have to change for my sake. There are so many things I know nothing about (am frankly stupid about) that he does know about; our interests just don't overlap. I wish I were more intellectually pushed/motivated in this relationship. I wish I had someone to talk to at length about these things. I always knew we were an unconventional match (in many ways)… but now I am feeling uncomfortable. There are other problems, e.g. his lack of motivation to work while studying (I understand, but difficult for me as he was unemployed for a while and not studying, and I have always worked and studied), his family (not his fault), libido mismatch, etc. He is so deeply loving and caring, makes me laugh, makes me feel safe… I wish that were enough.
I just don't know what to do now. Whether to talk to him about this or see if the feeling passes. I am so worried that I am falling out of love.
TLDR: I (23F) am upset about intellectual/interests incompatibility in my relationship (with 25M) and worry I am falling out of love.