I’m at a crossroad here. When we got married, we both worked. Things were great, we mutually respected each other. When we had kids, the situation shifted toward her taking some time off to be home with our kids even though that was never the plan. It was the right thing to do for our family though. 12 years later, we have had countless conversations about roles and responsibilities, with her never agreeing to a plan or holding herself accountable. I work in a high stress, cut throat industry. I’ve been very successful, but have always said I can’t do this forever. Earlier this year I had to take a leave of absence from work due to extreme burnout. I’m doing the best I can; I also coach both my kids sports teams as well as the elementary school team one also plays on. It’s a lot, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My wife doesnt do much during the 7 hours of free time she has each week day. Mostly Netflix, her phone etc. The other day she said I am not doing enough. I almost blew a gasket. I provide for the family, spend ~20 hours a week (volunteer) coaching, and I also do just as much around the house as she does. We have not had sex in 1.5 years, which used to be a major issue until I just accepted the fact that this is no longer part of our marriage despite trying for years and years to no avail. I recently said I may need to take a career break, I’m beyond burnt out again and we have plenty of money that I’ve saved to get me through as long of a break as I need. She told me it makes her sick to my stomach hearing I may not work. To state the obvious, she would NEVER go back to work even if our family needed it. Honestly, I think the only reason she is married to me is because I cover everything and are setting us up for a very comfortable life. I feel as though I’m just a means to an end, used, and would be dropped at a moments notice if the gravy train ended. Feeling under appreciated would be the understatement of the century. I give everything I have for this family, and it’s never enough. I’m tired. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.
Sorry for the rambling, incoherent stream of thoughts. Im clearly struggling.