So my girlfriend of 6 years cheated on me 3 months ago. Point blank. No question about it. And I left. Thinking to myself she broke up with me through her actions. It’s been a very difficult time for me and I am doing all the things they say not to do. Looking at pictures, checking social media, etc. I won’t make excuses, I know it’s not the right thing to do but I’m broken over this. Anyway, I went through old messages tonight and I realized there was a common thread in all of her’s. She’s been telling me through the messages and videos that she wanted more affection, possibly a baby, and definitely marriage. The only reason I say “definitely “ marriage is because she actually told me several times. So here we are broken up and I’m starting to realize she told me and I didn’t act. Not like I was going to marry her just because she asked but she sent me several (if not hundreds) of videos about needing to be cuddled, appreciated, and loved for over a year. She reached out to a photographer and asked about engagement photos. She had the photographer email me and blew it off. She told me which resorts would be the perfect location for the engagement, but still I didn’t even notice her. I want to say I’m depressed and have been for a long time but the truth is I’m selfish and oblivious to anyone else’s needs around me. So, we’re broken up. She didn’t want me to leave but due to my ego getting bruised I left. Now, I feel super guilty. Obviously cheating isn’t ever acceptable but what if she just wanted to be loved and I didn’t give her what she needed? It’s funny as I sit here and dwell on it, for many months she told me she felt like I was just a friend. Clearly a message to get off my ass and buy flowers or something of the sort. I guess my question is did she really cheat on me or the person I became after years of neglect? It’s obvious I want her back but at the same time I could never trust her or be with her again. What do you think?