I had a best friend I was extremely close to for about 3 years (daily texting/FaceTime, frequent visits, very few conflicts). We met during COVID and had one of the healthiest friendships I’ve ever had.
She eventually moved several states away and struggled financially, working two jobs. I understood she was busy, but after I visited her once (an amazing trip), I noticed she always had excuses when I tried to visit again — even when I offered to fly her to me or help out. At the same time, another friend of hers flew out to see her multiple times, which really hurt my feelings. I didn’t confront her, but I slowly pulled back.
The last time we spoke was around when I found out I was pregnant. She messaged me asking how I was feeling, and I didn’t reply. That was about 2–3 years ago. I later removed her from most social media, but we still follow each other on TikTok. She watches my stories and occasionally likes my posts, but we never talk.
We’ve both since moved back to our home state. I still think about her often and miss the friendship, but I’m scared of reaching out and being ignored or getting a polite, distant response. I only have her on TikTok, which feels like an awkward platform to message on.
My question: What’s the healthiest way to approach this? Should I reach out to try to reconnect or get closure, or is it better to leave the friendship in the past and process it on my own? How can I do this without risking unnecessary hurt?
TL;DR: Very close friendship faded without conflict. Years later, I miss it but am unsure if reaching out is healthy or if I should accept it as over. How should I proceed?