Looking for some perspective here:
I have a 1.5 year old baby girl. I absolutely adore her and so does my husband but I feel he's still so caught up in his head/with his hobbies etc and doesn't pay nearly as much attention to her as I do. At the same time, our marriage has completely broken down. I terribly wanted another kid. And so did he, before. But because of the state of our marriage, he doesn't want to have another. I acknowledge that our marriage leaves a LOT to be desired, but I think adding another baby will be something neither of us will regret in the long run. I really really want another baby. He has said no. But I feel like I'm on the receiving end of some sort of cruel reality where our marriage is crap (yes we are going to marriage counseling & our problem is that we don't really have much of a connection, but we are not toxic – we have learned how to communicate better and don't yell or call each other names or anything), I don't know if it's going to improve and it often feels like it's going to take ME to change it, not him (as I think he doesn't do enough work on himself to change the marriage, though he has started individual therapy for depression now, in addition to our couples counseling), & what am I fighting for? I want another kid!! Time is not on our side because of our age and if we did stay together but didn't have another baby, I feel I would always resent him for this… The reason I haven't left thus far is because of our baby girl. And same with him – we are trying to fix the marriage, but I fear it may be unfixable…