Hi all. I’m dating a woman who comes from a conservative/Baptist Christian background. I’m also Christian, but from a more progressive Episcopal-leaning tradition and I tend to approach faith questions with more uncertainty and discussion. It's fair to say we are on the two ends of the Christian spectrum. We’ve met each other’s families and things have been serious. we recently said I love you for the first time and had started talking about long-term compatibility (kids, family life, etc).
A situation happened that escalated quickly. I sent my girlfriend the classic Epicurean “problem of evil” question (the “if God is all-good/all-powerful, why is there evil?” idea) because we sometimes talk through difficult topics like that. She understood it as a discussion prompt. However, she forwarded it to her dad to get his thoughts, and it led to a very intense reaction from her parents. I was at her house during the call and could hear raised voices. Afterward, she was visibly upset and crying, repeating “I don’t know,” and at one point said, “maybe I’m not the person to answer all your questions.” She also made a couple jokes/laughed briefly in between crying, which made the emotional tone feel very unstable and confusing in the moment. She did allude to "being her own person and an adult" She then asked for a week of space to think and said she’ll reach out when she’s ready.
That night she texted me, “I’m really sorry about tonight.” I replied calmly that I care about her and don’t want to add stress to her family, and that I’m here if she wants to talk. She replied “I love you too.” I left it at that, respecting her request for space.
I want to handle this week in a way that respects her request for space while also keeping communication healthy and clear. It seems the only way forward is going to be pastoral counselling or something. I know some of you will tell me to run but please believe me when I say this girl isn't how it sounds at face value. She's much more open minded than her parents.
If her family remains strongly opposed, what boundaries or approaches have worked for others in similar “family involvement” situations?
TL;DR Girlfriend's parents were sent a seemingly provocative philosophical question. They didn't have context so they felt threatened by this. They no longer approve of the relationship and my gf is unsure how to handle this. She has asked for a week of space to think/pray.