My husband is a generally a really good guy. He's really nice to most people and shows he cares about others. He has done so much to help our friends and even my family. He makes good money and takes care of us (myself and our kids). I also work but I make significantly less than him. We've been together for almost 10 years. But it just feels like he doesn't love me or want me anymore. When we fight he's quick to throw around the D word and has been quick to say it wouldn't hurt him if we broke up. When we got together he was very in love with me and I felt so loved and wanted all the time. He would give me flowers and gifts and want to spend time with me. Now I have to beg for flowers once a year and I've given up and just buy myself flowers. We will once in a while go on dates and we have fun, but I can't tell you the last time he initiated and willingly gave me a kiss or a hug. I'm always the one who wants physical touch. He has gained weight over the years and his testosterone levels are low so he almost never wants sex, but does that mean he wouldn't show affection either? I get frustrated and hold onto my anger with him and then every 2 months I just burst and start a fight. Then he says I don't appreciate him and I fight all the time. I agree that I shouldn't hold onto things but what am I supposed to do, when I ask for things like flowers or sex or feeling wanted, I'm always rejected. I'm so exhausted and just feel like I'm not worth love at this point. I've also gained a little weight, I have a chronic illness that can make it hard to live with me when I'm feeling unwell, I get upset over small things sometimes. But doesn't every woman get upset over things and don't all couples have fights? Why are ours always so toxic. Why do I feel like I should just leave or find someone else when he devalues me. He says I do nothing for him and he's the better person in the relationship and I should be lucky he's still with me. I feel like I'm worth nothing.