I am genuinely so lost. I am writing here today as I have no one to talk about this with and I just need to ask, what do you think I should do?
My boyfriend is going through the stages of grief. His grandmother passed and he spent Christmas Eve alone with her in the hospital. He found out a few days later that she passed. The day she passed, I offered to call out of my two jobs to support him but he specifically said to leave him alone. I checked in him, made sure he ate, and at night he was normal. So I knew with grief, it's going to come in waves for him instead of hitting all at once. I was not very close to grandma however, I know she was a very special member of the family so I offered my support and gave my condolences to his family. I called out of my office job to attend the funeral to support him.
Anyway, I am just saying all that to give context and foundation. After the funeral, we went home at the same time. I began getting greasy to go to my serving job while he was getting ready to go to his family's house. Mind you, he works at the serving job too. He saw me get dressed. I'm going to say for a better idea, I'm going to say I work at a place similar to Chilis but it's not Chilis. I decided to wear the dress uniform so I put on a tank top and Black Nike Spandex Shorts and then I put the dress over it. He never said anything about what I was wearing. I went to work. All was normal. I finished work and the dress was lowkey uncomfortable after about 8 hours of serving(it was midnight by this point) so I decided to take off the dress, stay in my shorts and tank top and put on a hoodie I brought with me. I walked out of work like that, no one saw me. Mind you, a bunch of girls there do that. It's all about comfortability in a job where you are on your feet busting your ass. I came home and he questioned why I was in the shorts and not the dress. I sad I was uncomfortable so I took it off and walked out of work like that. He got upset and started saying he didn't like that I walked out of work with just the shorts. He commented how every guy can see everything down there and how it's disrespectful to the relationship. I told him I was just trying to be comfortable and it shouldn't matter. He then started accusing me of playing games and doing this on purpose the day of his grandma's funeral. This triggered me due to our past arguments where he would literally accuse me of playing games"chess pieces" and having something going on behind his back. I started defending myself because I feel there's nothing wrong with what I am wearing . The argument got escalated to the point I started going manic because he kept putting me down and for not supporting him and giving him grace. Basically, I should've just let it slide that he's being rude about his comments about the shorts since he's grieving. I don't think I should allow that. I understand you're grieving but why are you getting mad at me over shorts? The fight got so bad that he kicked me out of bed so I slept on the couch and he told me he was gonna stay at his parents house. He texted me saying:
You disgust me for actually walking out of (Workplace) in those skin tight shorts. You have no respect for this relationship. That put a bad taste in my mouth and after going through what I am going through right now that’s such a big “fuck you” to me. I have no respect for you.
The fact he's left to stay at his parents hurts and I genuinely feel I've been there for him but now I'm here thinking am I the one who should be apologizing?
Update: I appreciate everyone's messages and words. I feel better knowing that my thoughts aren't crazy. I will not be accepting this type of behavior and I will put myself first. Thank you everyone.
Update 2: He didn't sleep at his parents house after all. He slept at another girls house LOL