My bf (31m) has a habit of telling me (32f) to shut up. We’ve been together for 7 years. It’s not even for serious deep arguments, it’ll just be in minor disputes where he tells me “SHUT UP”. I have told him numerous times how it’s low key triggering for me. I don’t like it, it’s disrespectful, and there are better ways to have his point come across. I’ve never told anyone to shut up, if anything my go to is “CAN YOU STOP?”. I’ve realized I’ve never felt the need to say shut up, nor do I like or tolerate it anymore. In fact, I shut down. I feel like shit. When I tell him this he says “I’m sorry but you talk to me like I’m an idiot”. Again, there’s better ways getting a point across than always yelling shut up. I feel like I’m partially being gas light because he tells me if I didn’t start something, he wouldn’t tell me to shut up. How else can I explain my feelings in this, or make him stop? How do you get it through to your partner? Or is saying shut up just normal?
TL;DR – How do I get my boyfriend to stop yelling shut up to me?