I (24M) have been working at sea since 18 when I first started as a trainee, I met my girlfriend during my final year of me studying to get my license at 20 and we’ve been together since and I’ve managed to get myself comfortable in my career since getting my license at 21 and finding a high paying job within the yachting industry.
Over the past few months she’s been expressing issues with my career such as the fact that I’m not home year round, or the fact I don’t work a 9-5 and has been probing me to consider working at home in the same city she does instead.
I’ve recently joined my yacht after a vacation at home and since I’ve been here, she’s been questioning me harder with some additional concerns and asking me if I’m willing to quit my job for her (we already established my career very early on in the relationship and she took no issue at the time)
Her main concerns is with starting a family whilst I’m away, especially since that I’m working 6 months of the year away and she finds it very hard to think I can bond with any potential children in the mix and that she generally doesn’t like my job since she wants someone at home all the time whilst she works as a nurse.
I’ve offered several compromises that allow me to work at sea but be home or closer to home more frequently, such as working on costal ships with shorter contract lengths (1 week on/off) and even offering to pay for a nanny/Aupair. However she’s struck issues with everything I’ve offered. However when I’ve asked her if she’s willing to compromise in regards to her career but she refuses.
Previously she’s not had an issue and has expressed her parents are happy to step in when I can’t at times and that she’s happy that I’m in a job I love and wants to see my career grow. However she’s had a change of heart and started to blame my career over it. I’ve tried to explain the lifestyle that I can afford and help her out is due to my career and that I won’t be able to make the same income however she doesn’t believe me at all and thinks I can do the same at home.
How do I speak to her and understand her perspective and find the root cause of these feelings for her? I’m very happy in my career and want to progress much further into it as well as have a relationship with her