I been married for 17 years, we have 2 kids together, one is 15 and the other is 16. The 16 yr old will be 17 in February.
When we first started seeing each other, we were fine and nothing was wrong or anything. We did break up for about 2 months because I wasn’t wanting a marriage, and other things. I went to California to live with my half sister. This is when I found out I was pregnant with my oldest. I was sad, happy, nervous about it all. My half sister told me to tell my family that it isn’t by my ex. Well, I did just that and he found out about me being pregnant 🤰. It wasn’t with any other guy but him, when he reached out on social media, he flat asked me if the baby was his. I told him, yes the baby is yours but I haven’t decided what I wanted to do. I had a decision to make, do I want the baby or not. I always wanted kids, but I wanted a mom and dad living together. I decided after talking to his dad and everything to give him a chance again. I moved back and then he said, “we need to get married for the baby sake.” I told him, no multiple times because I knew I wasn’t even ready to do that. Also, my parents didn’t like him. He asked me over 100 times within a 2 day range. I said, “whatever”. We got married out of his sister’s apartment.
Fast forward to 2012, we moved 30 miles away from my family and I believe this is when his controlling me started. When I wanted to go see my family but he would rush off to prevent me doing so. I told him, I felt isolated and needed to get away for a while. He didn’t care… then I got a job where he live, it felt good to get out and away from him for 8 hours, when they needed someone to stay over, I would volunteer all the time.
He would change for 6months then go back to his ways. I stayed, I know I shouldn’t have but I did it for my kids.
Now, he knows our marriage is over, and he is wanting the change for good. He might have a job, I wanted him to have a job years ago, he is in therapy (has been for a year), he is now taking medication and it is too late. Why didn’t he do this when I told him? I had to fight for something he wasn’t fighting for, now he is fighting for something that is broke.