My boyfriend and I ( together for a little over a month) just had a really nice weekend togetherbut it was also emotionally heavy. This has been a pattern lately & I’m starting to feel drained.
I’m in recovery and working on my mental health, and I truly appreciate how much he cares. He wants to talk things through, check in, process feelings, and make sure I’m okay — and I know that comes from his love for me I’m grateful for that.
But lately it feels like most of our time together turns into serious conversations about my sobriety, my mental health, or emotional topics. I don’t feel pressured, but I do feel like I’m constantly doing emotional labor when I’m with him. Even when the conversations are “good,” they’re still heavy. Sometimes they put me in such a mood I can't even relax once they are through.
What I really want sometimes is just to hang out with my boyfriend. Be silly. Relax. Laugh. Watch something dumb. Feel normal. I don’t want our relationship to feel like therapy or recovery check-ins every time we’re together.
I don’t want to shut him down or make him feel like he can’t care I just need more balance. Less processing & more presence. Less seriousness, more fun.
How can I let my partner know I need lighter, more relaxed time together without hurting them?
TLDR: Relationship feels like emotional labor. I just want to have fun with my boyfriend. Help??