Hey all! This will belong but bare with me, please!
I’m looking for everyone’s perspective on this! 34F here dating 31M. We’re about a month in and I’m noticing an issue with consistency and follow through, meaning his actions back don’t up what he says he’ll do. How do I bring this up? I told him in the beginning how important consistency is and doing what you say you’ll do.
A little background. We dated back in 2020 for 3 months and it was bad timing with Covid so it didn’t work out. We reconnected back in November and made it official mid December.
He very much meets my needs and is a good match for me in most other ways, but I’m struggling if I’m asking too much one month in. For example he says he’ll do things and then doesn’t do them.
Getting back to my point. I had major surgery 12/17 and when he came to see me at home afterwards he brought me flowers, he also saw me day of surgery in the hospital.
I told him how much I like flowers and it meant a lot that he remembered my favorite color. He said he’d bring me more when I was seeing him next as he liked making me happy, which was about a week later. Well here’s the issue. It’s now about three weeks later, I’ve seen him three times and he hasn’t brought flowers. I know it sounds like I’m being needy or demanding but it’s not about the actual flowers. What is bothering me is that he’s said (twice now) he’ll get them and he hasn’t. He seems to fall into a pattern of saying what he thinks I want to hear in the moment and then fails to follow through on it. And this isn’t the only example of his actions not backing up his words
I don’t want to have too high of expectations this early on, but after growing up with a parent who very often failed on the follow through and left me disappointed I promised myself I wouldn’t be with a partner who did those same things.
I told him in the beginning how important these types of things are to me. Maybe I didn’t explain myself well enough. But I don’t know how to bring it up now without sounding like I’m being overly critical or needy or materialistic and making it come off as me “having a fit” because I didn’t get flowers.
Can someone help me sort through this? How do I talk to him about it?
Thank you!!