Due to personal insecurities and anxiety I've avoided dating and intimacy for most of my life. Currently I'm finally trying to get into dating, looking for guides and information on how to behave, what's expected, what kind of things to look out for in people etc.
The problem is that the content that I keep seeing online is borderline deranged – men hating on women for being unreasonable and entitled, women hating on men for existing in their presence, both advocating abandoning dating altogether. Every single thing is a red flag/ick. "Love bombing" being even a concept, shook me to my core – I want to care, show affection, show and share happiness of being with someone, and it turns out that it's seen as manipulative. It feels like no matter what you do every choice is wrong or repulsive to someone. And to top it all off the only decent instructions on how to act that are available are basically pickup culture manipulative tactics that border on emotional abuse.
I'm basing this on the things that keep coming up on Instagram, YouTube and tictok. All of it feels deliberately inflammatory and leaves me horrified and more anxious than ever before. Is this the actual reality, or is this the algorithm pushing hatered for the clicks? Are there any actually worthwhile information sources that I could get real practical information to learn from?