I need opinions here. I'll have to give back story. I f29 an married to M36. We've been married 8 years. 3 kids. 1 from his previous, one from mine, and one together. The one thing that has really put a hardship on our relationship is sex. I suffer from chronic migraine and fatigue and undiagnosed used autoimmune which has completely wrecked my life. My husband now works and I dont. On top of that last year I went through extreme anxiety and panic attacks and im now on an SSRI. All that to say, I have very little energy in general and very little sex drive. So that means sex is infrequent. Maybe about 2 or 3 times a month. Its a huge point contention in our marriage. We fight about it pretty consistently. I try and explain its not lack of love or affection its simply lack of actual energy and not feeling good, basically ever.
Fast forward to a few days ago. My husband had a scheduled surgery for his ear. Pretty intense surgery. I have been taking care of him round the clock. Managing meds, making food, taking care of kids. Its exhausting but I did it with a smile. I was happy to take care of him. Even though with my chronic illness, I struggle quite a bit. This morning, on day 2 after his surgery he asked for a hand job. I had just laid back down in bed after taking care of everyone all morning and was looking to rest for a bit. I told him I was tired and he gave me attitude about it. It really hurt my feelings after all I've been doing; and just because I said no, he gets upset. Now hes sulking and says I dont prioritize sex at all and it wouldn't matter what I was doing or not doing im never in the mood. Its mind boggling after all the times ive explained to him my chronic illness and how it effects me, he still doesnt not understand.
I understand men need sex. I get it. I do. But I feel his response in this scenario is completely selfish. Thoughts??
TIA