I (26F) was in a relationship with my boyfriend (24M) for 6 months. We’d known each other for about 7 months and met at the gym. Until recently, the relationship was genuinely good no major fights, good communication, good sex life, and mutual care and respect.
Last night we went on a date and drank alcohol. I ended up drinking about 40 cl of vodka by myself and blacked out. During sex, I apparently called out my ex’s name. I have no memory of this happening.
My boyfriend was extremely upset and withdrawn afterward. When I realized how hurt he was, I cried for a long time, and he cried too. He said he needed time to think about the relationship.
The next day, he broke up with me. He was emotional but firm and said that even though he loves me, he knows he won’t be able to forgive or move past that moment.
For context:
• I ended the relationship with my ex myself
• I’ve been no-contact with him for over 2 years
• I blocked him long before meeting my current boyfriend
• My ex tried to get back together multiple times and I always declined
• I’ve been transparent about this ex from the beginning
• I genuinely feel nothing for my ex and don’t think about him
I tried to explain that I don’t even know how or why I said that name, especially since I was blackout drunk and don’t remember it at all. I apologized and begged him to reconsider, but he made it clear his decision is final and he doesn’t want to continue the relationship.
I feel completely lost. This one moment which doesn’t reflect my feelings and that I can’t change ended an otherwise loving relationship. I can’t pursue him any further because he’s made it clear he doesn’t want that.
How do I accept that this is over and move on?
Is there anything constructive I can do at this point, or is letting go the only option?