Hi all,
I think I’m just after some advice. My partner (30/M) and I have been together for 2.5 years. He has really incredible mates. They are all so down to earth, consistent, friendly and warm. I love them and I look forward to spending time with them. When he goes out with them, I love hearing about what they talk about and get up to. However, I do not like his best mate (30/M) who he has been friends with his whole life. At all. His best mate is different around all groups. I’ve never seen the same version twice. We have had conflict where he yelled at me at my partner’s birthday because we had a difference of opinion on education and political matters (I’m a teacher). He has this masculine “big guy” energy. I just cannot stand him. I have tried. I have initiated a coffee catch up to hash out our differences after he yelled at me. Which I went to and it was seemingly okay. I have also trained with him (he’s a PT) for 6 weeks where he BARELY asked me any questions about myself, it was all about him and his goals.
I vented to my partner today and it’s upset him (to be fair, I wasn’t gentle about it). At the same time, he’s not upset AT me. He’s just disappointed it’s like this. While my partner said he can agree with many of the things I’ve said, he says it’s changed things for how we spend time with his best mate in the future as he’s now uncomfortable. I understand this and I’m not discrediting his feelings at all. I seldomly see his best mate anyway but I feel TERRIBLE. I don’t want my partner to feel he can’t hang out with his best mate. I would just like some advice on how I can better manage this or what your thoughts are. I can hear hard truths.
TL;DR: I don’t like my partner’s best friend. I vented this out and it’s upset him and it’s changed how he will or won’t invite him to things. I feel terrible. How do I manage this?