Today at my family’s New Year’s Eve gathering, we were using my dad’s phone for karaoke through a Spotify Jam. I used his phone to share the link, and while doing that I saw some messages with women I didn’t recognize. They seemed around 25–30. I know I shouldn’t have looked further, but I did, and I found conversations that suggest he may be cheating.
I’m overwhelmed and unsure what to do. I don’t know whether I should tell my mom. She has struggled with her mental health before, and I worry this would devastate her. Our family is small and she doesn’t really have much of a support system outside of us.
I’m also supposed to move to another state this year to start my career. I’m scared that if this all comes out now, my family will fall apart while I’m gone. I feel like I’d have to give up those plans just to stay and support them.
My dad has always been a very present father, devoted and supportive even tho he grew up without a male role model. I can’t speak for him as a husband, but as a dad he has been good to us. I know my parents’ marriage hasn’t been easy recently, and they both have strong personalities. I don’t hate him, but I’m struggling to reconcile the father I know with what I found.
Right now, I’m considering talking to him privately instead of telling my mom. I want to tell him that I know, and that he’s risking not only his marriage but everyone’s emotional stability. I’m scared that if this becomes public, my family could fall apart.
What I’m hoping to hear is: Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do I handle this without destroying everything?