I (24F) and recently broke up with my boyfriend (28M) after dating for about 6 months. The relationship was short but very intense. We met at work, and things escalated quickly like within days of dating he talked about marriage, kids, and a future together. He comes from a conservative Maharashtrian family and I’m Bengali, so his parents wouldn't have accepted us but he repeatedly reassured me that he’d stand up for us.
He switched jobs recently and encouraged me to do the same so we could move to the same city, which I did. A few days ago, we had an argument and didn’t speak for a bit. During that time, I felt extremely anxious, angry, and restless because I didn’t have clarity. When we finally spoke, it became clear he had already emotionally checked out and decided not to go against his parents. He said he could continue being with me casually but wouldn’t marry me.
Once I had that clarity, something shifted. I was very upset in the moment, but after that day, I started feeling surprisingly calm. I blocked him on social media, leaned on friends and family for support, made new friends in the city, and stayed functional. Even when he texted once afterward, it didn’t affect me much. I don’t feel the urge to reach out, bargain, or replay things constantly.
I’ve spent time reflecting on the relationship without villainizing him or blaming myself. I understand that he likely didn’t have the emotional maturity to fully grasp what he was promising and avoided difficult conversations. I also recognize that this ending now is likely better than it happening later after more entanglement. The relationship helped me grow, it showed me I can love deeply again after a long previous relationship, that I’ve improved how I show up emotionally, and it even gave me the confidence to pursue and land a much better job.
What’s confusing me is how calm I feel so soon after something that felt so consuming just days ago. I know grief isn’t linear and that emotions might resurface later, but right now I feel more acceptance than devastation.
For people who’ve experienced something similar, what are some practical ways to take care of yourself and move forward after an intense breakup without over intellectualising your emotions and how do I differentiate between acceptance and emotional suppression?