Hiii, I’m sure this has been posted here about a million times but I’m seeking advice for my situation. I attempted to post this on the relationships subreddit but the moderators suggested I post here instead!
I (20F) have been dating my boyfriend (20M) for around 9 months now, when we first started dating the bedroom life was much more consistent (of course you slow down further into the relationship so this point isn’t really relative lol) and he was very giddy and excited about me sitting on his face, I obliged. Since that initial face sitting he hasn’t asked me to do it again or gone down on me. Before the Reddit incels start up with the “you probably stink or taste bad” “men aren’t obligated to do that” 1. I know I do not stink or taste bad I am a hygiene nut and I drank a crap ton of water along with eating a bunch of pineapple and you guys are gonna think I’m gross for this but I even tasted it beforehand because I was so paranoid about tasting funny, I know for sure I do not taste gross. And; 2. I understand no one is obligated to eat me out. He likes when I give him head before sex and that’s pretty much the only kind of foreplay we engage in, we rarely ever even make out just a few kisses here and there. I enjoy giving head but sometimes it makes me upset because I never really get much of an answer from him as to why he won’t go down on me. Anytime I ask why he won’t he says “I don’t know, I just don’t do it” without giving me a straight up answer. Anytime I push further to try and understand he either repeats what he said previously or changes the subject so I kind of just stopped mentioning it. He seldom asks if I finished and when he does, it’s after we’ve had sex and if I tell him no he says he feels guilty but never takes that initiative to help or go down on me so I usually just go to the bathroom and do it myself or not do anything at all and just kinda sit there while he scrolls on his phone. Sex is really important to me and I always just feel empty and disgusted after we get through. How would I go about starting a conversation with him about this? Do I stop giving him head as well? I don’t want it to come off as if I’m giving him an ultimatum or being passive aggressive because he’s my first love and he really is caring in other aspects of our relationship and I really don’t want sex to be what splits us up or causes a rift in the relationship. Thank you in advance for any advice and please remember to be kind 🙂
TLDR: my boyfriend doesn’t want to go down on me and when I ask why he only responds with “I don’t know I just don’t do it”