TL;DR: My girlfriend has low self-esteem and constantly calls herself ugly. Today she told me I have "shitty taste" for being attracted to her. I’m hurt and don’t know how to address it.
I’ve been dating my girlfriend (23F) for a little over a year. She is a wonderful person, but she has a recurring habit of putting herself down. She often says she’s ugly, and it’s not just a passing comment, it seems to be a deep-seated insecurity.
Every time she does this, I (25M) reassure her. I genuinely find her beautiful and I tell her so, every single time. Usually, it’s a minor thing: she says it, I disagree, we move on. It never led to a fight, though I’ll admit it’s been draining to constantly have my perspective dismissed.
However, things took a turn today. She was looking at some photos from New Year's Eve with her friends, and she started spiraling again, calling herself "hideous." I did my usual routine of reassuring her.
This time, instead of dropping it, she said: "Sorry babe, it’s not my fault you have shitty taste."
That honestly stung. It felt like she wasn't just insulting herself anymore, but she was insulting me and my judgment. It’s frustrating because I’m trying to be supportive, and I ended up feeling like my attraction to her was being mocked. I didn't know how to respond without getting angry or starting a huge argument, so I just left her on read to take some space.
Her attitude in commenting on the matter seems to be joking, as if she were aware that it is a minor issue, even in her final comment referring to me, but it still struck me as strange.
I love her, and I don’t know how to handle this anymore. How can I explain to her that i think she is over reacting and help her understand that.
Thanks to anyone who reads this.