I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year. He’s attentive, loyal, and reliable, but we have recurring conflicts where he labels me “immature” or “toxic,” invalidates my feelings, and it feel like he expects me to do all the emotional work. He says if I matured, we’d be fine, and dismisses my suggestions for better communication like active listening, repeating back what you’ve heard, and validation of the others emotions even if you don’t agree. He says this is coddling and if I want a yes man I need someone else. He’s being soft with me but no matter what he doesn’t it comes down to me not being able to handle being disagreed with.
I love him and want to stay, but I often feel cornered, blamed, and unsure how to grow without shrinking myself. How can I develop emotional maturity and independence within this relationship, and is this dynamic a major warning sign I shouldn’t ignore?
tl;dr : I love my loyal boyfriend, but he often invalidates my feelings, calls me “immature,” and expects me to do all the emotional work. I feel cornered and blamed, how can I grow emotionally here, and is this a red flag sign?