My wife (F42) and I (M44) got married at a very young age. We’ve had so many great memories together throughout the years. We are high school sweethearts, have a lot of things in common, and have a lot of the same values. So I thought it was the right decision to get married. In recent years we have grown apart. We have gone through couples counseling and worked on our relationship. A lot of things were uncovered and addressed. She brought up things that she wasnt comfortable with, so I took accountability of myself and apologized for what i did. But when I brought up things that she did/said, she made excuses. Even when the therapist brought it to her attention, she still didnt apologize.
Ever since then, I realized what I truly want in a meaningful relationship. And realizing that my wife cant give me what I want and need emotionally has hit me really hard. I see videos and pictures of couples that are comfortable with each other and it reminds me that It’s m not. I have brought up going back to therapy with my wife and she didnt seem interested at all. I feel I would be more happy emotionally if i were to be with someone who wants the same in a relationship, but Im afraid if I leave I’ll let my kids down.
This was more of a vent than anything else
TL/DR I want a more meaningful relationship, but afraid I will let down my kids.