My bf (47M) and I(36F) have been dating for about a year now. I really imagined a future with him and we love & prioritize each other. but I think he ruined it last night.
We were hanging out just for a few moments and I told him that I’m tired and not up for sex. But he undressed me anyway and I said “Why are you taking my pants off?” to which he replied “I know. Just the tip. I’ll just put in the tip.”
I was in a state of disbelief. He put more in than the tip. He put the whole thing in and kept going for a while. At one point he said “don’t look at me that way” because I guess I was making an expression, I’m not sure. I was in shock that he was doing this.
I’m not proud of it but I went into fawning for the rest of the time. I tried not to make him feel bad for what he was doing. Ordinarily we have the hottest sex life that I enjoy more than any ever before him. But I didn’t want to last night and told him that and he pressed forward anyway.
He stopped after a while and I immediately told him I’m really surprised it happened, and that I would never sit on his d*ck if he told me he was tired and not up for sex. He apologized but made some jokes about it. Then he apologized again.
I feel awful. I left as quickly as I could. I’ve been sobbing or numb ever since. I called a crisis hotline and they said it’s S A. I even asked them if it is S A if I didn’t use the words “stop” or “no” or “go away from me.” They said yes. I think something is wrong with me.
The whole situation is very shocking and confusing. I don’t know why he did it. While he was in me I said “I know, I’m just insatiable sometimes” when I expressed discomfort and disbelief. I feel numb and can’t bring myself to talk to him right now. I wish he hadn’t done this.
TLDR: is my relationship over because my boyfriend took s*x from me even when I told him I don’t want to?
EDIT: I reread my post. HE was the one who said "I know, I'm just insatiable sometimes." He said it while he was in me. Damn typo.