Hi y'all,
I'm 24 F
I had a first intimacy experience with my long distance boyfriend of 6 months
He was here for a 1.5 days birthday trip, on the first day I told him I can't come to the hotel, the dates were fun and amazing. I felt closer, at peace and happy. The love feels safe and secure.
But at the end of the day he got sad and disappointed that I didn't come to the hotel.
And that I raised his expectations while sexting.
I felt guilty for making him sad on his bday.
The second day didn't go as per the plan, he was less excited, didn't say that he wanted to go the hotel, but I kept asking what happened.
We waited at the station for an hour talking about what to do, he wanted it. But didn't say it because it looks desperate. I was hesitant.
And after lunch we ended up going to the hotel, he was speeding things up because we only had an hour.
I'm a virgin, I have never even kissed anyone.
We hugged, he made me comfortable.
And kept changing positions. And straight went for a kiss after a few minutes.
I didn't like it at all, the beard tickled me and we just had maxican food before that at lunch. So I quite didn't like it.
I said no to a kiss, we stuck to cuddling, first base and dry humping.
He tried the kiss again, didn't like it again.
I liked the cuddling, it was warm and cozy. I didn't want to leave at all.
But, the day ended, guilt settled.
I am confused and have mixed feelings about it.
Didn't like the kiss, I wasn't wet at all. Wasn't as excited.
Is this how it feels?? Or does it get better!?