Hi everyone. I (20M) feel like it’s time to break up with my girlfriend (21F). For the sake of this post, I’ll call her “Jane.”
Jane and I have been officially together for nearly a year, and unofficially for about a year and a half. We’ve made a lot of great memories and shared some really beautiful moments. However, over the last month or so, I’ve realised that I’m no longer enjoying being in a relationship.
I think we’re simply too different to be “the one” for each other in terms of interests, personalities, and how we are socially. We recently went on a holiday together, and by the end of it I found myself thinking that I wouldn’t be able to share a home or longterm life with her because of these differences. That said, she has genuinely done nothing wrong.
On top of this, I’m dealing with my own struggles at the moment. I’m trying to save as much money as possible, and mentally I’m not in a great place I’m struggling with motivation, happiness, and self worth. I don’t feel mentally available to be in a relationship, and I honestly believe Jane deserves someone better than me who can fully show up for her.
My biggest worry is that Jane also struggles with her mental health. I’m terrified that breaking up with her would hurt her deeply and potentially push her into a depressive state. She works a lot, doesn’t have many friends or hobbies, and I take up a significant amount of her free time, which makes this even harder.
I’m asking for advice on how to break up with someone who has done nothing wrong in the kindest, least damaging way possible. I care about her and don’t want to cause unnecessary pain.
TL;DR: I don’t feel mentally able to be a good boyfriend anymore and don’t want to be in a relationship, but my girlfriend has done nothing wrong. How do I break up with her while hurting her as little as possible?